Music
by goldmustangs
Summary: Alice thought he'd like music. She was wrong. Horribly wrong.
1. Being Wrong

Alice thought- as quirky as Hatter was- he'd have an ear for some indie, hipster-style music.

Alice was horribly wrong.

Hatter _hated _music.

"What's all this noise?" he grumbled, shutting the radio off just as soon as Alice turned it on.

"... Music?" she replied, a bit put-off.

"_Music_?" Hatter wrinkled his nose like he'd had some bad tea. "It sounds terrible. What's wrong with normal noise?"

"Nothing..? Music's fun to listen to. Did they not have it in Wonderland?"

"No, we didn't have '_music_.'" He forced out the word as if it left a strange aftertaste on his tongue. "We listened to normal things like normal people." Alice blinked, suddenly appalled. No _music_? They had invented a way to drink _emotions_, but didn't have _music_?

"Well, I like it. Turn it back on, please."

Hatter rolled his eyes. "Alice, it sounds _weird_. Don't you have... _Phone-heads_ or whatever here?"

"Headphones? No." It was Alice's turn to roll her eyes. Her mother had passed down her love for music- that was, blaring music throughout an entire household. Headphones were not a 'thing.'

"Hmmph." Hatter still didn't turn it on, even after he hung up his jacket. He flopped on the couch next to Alice, flicking on the tv. She hardly noticed.

"H-how do you not have or like _music_?" she asked, still dumbfounded by his earlier point. "It's- it's-"

"It gets in the way."

"Of _what_?" Alice persisted, bewildered.

"Of _normal _noises. Background noises. The Scarab- er, cars; people talking; electricity humming; leaves rustling; animals; the tv, here, I guess; the like."

"But there are amazing singers, and musicians-"

"It's unnatural. Why would you want your voice to go that high? Or hold out a- a-"

"A note-" she proffered.

"-yeah, a _note_- for so long?" Hatter shook his head. "Talking is much better."

"There's rap…"

"Rap?"

"Where they talk really fast and rhyme?"

"Oh, _god_, no. I guess that's what a boy was listening to in the subway today." Hatter shuttered. "It was so _loud_, and the things he _said-_!" Alice almost grinned.

"I mean, really, Alice. What use is there for music?"

"Hatter-" Alice opened her mouth to argue… and realized she couldn't. Alice loved music- _needed _might have been excessive, but it was a big part of her life. There wasn't really a _use _for it, per se, but it was… helpful? Useful?

"Exactly." Hatter smirked, which made Alice bristle.

"Hatter, music is _important_. It's- it's like-" suddenly she figured it out. "It's like the emotion teas, but for humans."

Hatter frowned. "Alice, that's ridiculous."

"No, no. Music can make people feel a certain way. It can cheer you up, or make you sad, or put you to sleep or wake you up…" She saw Hatter staring at her with narrowed eyes and glared back.

"It's _important_!" she insisted, but to no avail. Hatter shook his head and sighed.

"Okay, Alice."

"You know what? I'm going to find music you _like_."

Hatter scoffed. "Impossible."

"You're telling me _nobody _in Wonderland sings?"

"Well, except Charlie."

Alice had to laugh at that, making Hatter grin and imitate "_heyyy, Nonny nonny"_ terribly- which made her laugh even more.

"I readily accept the challenge of finding music you like, Hatter."

He scoffed. "Good luck with that one, love."


	2. Not Even Elvis

It was safe to say Hatter hated _any song _made after the 1990's.

Alice had started with modern music- thinking hey, maybe he'd like something like electronic or club music; or popular radio music. Nope. He with curl his lip in distaste if it came on, saying it was '_the most unnatural sound_' he'd ever heard. Pop music was a no-go. Rap was despised. The '50s and '60s were scoffed at, which was very upsetting for Alice. ("Not even _Elvis_?! What _are_ you?!") Country was worse- "you're saying their voices _naturally _have that- that- that _twang_?" Even Bob Marley was unimpressive. Hatter didn't like _movie soundtracks_, for crying out loud. He said he barely noticed them in music anyways; and when he did, it made it weird. "If the actors aren't singing, then is there- like- a radio in the scene somewhere? Can they hear it? Do they get freaked out whenever music just magically starts? And if they are singing, what do other people who _aren't _singing think? It is a normal thing, for them to just break out in song?"

She'd tried a music video once. Hatter nearly threw a fit he was so angry at the idea of making a film _just for music_. "It's- it's damn _irrational_!"

She'd tried everything from radio hits to the stuff they played in the background at Starbucks- nope, Hatter hated it all. She'd (while cringing) tried death metal, and the first 10 seconds was enough to make Hatter laugh.

"Not even _you _think this is good music," he cackled, shutting it off.

She'd also tried going _way _back- as in, Tchaikovsky, Beethoven, and all things classical. Beautiful piano and orchestral music would filter through their apartment, and Hatter would tap his foot impatiently, shift uncomfortably.

"This is almost worse; there aren't any _words_."

"That's the joy of it, Hatter! It's so lovely," Alice responded, pretending to be a ballerina and clumsily twirl around. He just stared dumbly in response.

"It makes me uncomfortable," he said, so seriously and stiffly that Alice stopped and doubled over laughing.

"Does that mean I can turn it off? _Please_, Alice?"


	3. A Desperate Situation

Alice was near her wit's end.

Hatter hated music more than should have been physically possible.

Alice, growing more worried by the second, had tried every radio station she knew of. Hatter had turned them all down, literally; he would stalk over, shaking his head, and turn the volume down until it was muted. Alice would just frown at his retreating figure.

She had dragged him through the city, going out later each night to clubs and coffee shops, quizzing him on the background music. Nope. They had passed by guitar and drum players on street corners and in parks. _Nope_.

It was a desperate situation.

Alice had an off day from work that Friday, luckily. She was exhausted- from that (work, that is) and her hunt for some tune Hatter would like. She sat, lounging on the cough, scouring the internet on her laptop, when her phone suddenly rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Alice."

"Oh, hey, Mom." She sat up a bit, shutting her laptop. "What's up?"

"One of the companies I'm brokering is going through their old inventory. And, well… they have some stuff I thought you'd might be interested in. It's antiques, mostly- nothing works- but I thought you'd enjoy it all the same. You can have it, if you'd like."

"Give me an hour."


	4. Antiques

50 minutes later, Alice was with Carol, shivering (it was a nice 75 degrees at home, so _why _was it nearly 35 outside?!) as a storage worker lifted up the garage door. Alice gasped, turning to her mom in shock.

"Yeah, the CEO was a big music fan… Too bad it's all obsolete now."

Alice stepped into the garage, glancing around at all the old music paraphernalia. She dragged a box out from under a table and opened it, flipping through stacks of old vinyls. She pulled one out, blowing the dust off and checking for a tag.

"There's not a… It doesn't- does he know what these are?"

"Probably not." Carol glanced around. "I guess that's why he's giving it all away. He told me if we wanted anything, though, we were free to grab it."

Alice stood, rubbing her cold hands together, and walked around a large table, opening another box which had an antique record player. She grinned.

"Wow, this is…. This is really cool stuff. I'll take it home."

"Who knows? Maybe Hatter might like it." Carol laughed, and Alice sighed with a shake of her head. She had told her mom about her failures in finding music good enough for Hatter on the ride over- Carol was more amused than anything.

"Okay, I'll take this and the old records home. We'll give it a try."

* * *

(_an: _okay yes i know they're painfully short i realized updating them mini-scene by mini-scene was a bad idea

but i mean that's how much i write each time i come back to this and i feel like any update is a good update right ? yes no maybe so

idk they get a little bit longer after this and it'll be up either tonight or tomorrow night

maybe the next story i write will have actually decent-length _chapters _these are more like blabs but whatever)


	5. False Hope

"What's all this?"

Hatter stepped around a box to find Alice tinkering with the record player on the kitchen table.

"It's a… record player," she responded after a moment, mostly focused on her work. "Mom had free dibs on stuff… and she let me take a look at it… but it won't work." She sat back with a sigh, shrugging.

"Oh. Well, maybe I can-"

"Nope." Alice shook her head a little too quickly.

"No?" Hatter hung his jacket on the coat hanger and walked over, leaning over a chair. "You know I'm good at tinkering with things."

"Well, yeah…" _But this is mine. And you don't even _like _music. I don't want you wrecking this_.

"What does it do?" He stepped back from the chair, spinning it around to sit in. He was as talented with a chair as he was with his hat, Alice realized, slightly amused.

"It's _supposed _to play back these records." Alice gestured to the box at the front door. "But the needle keeps jumping around. It's supposed to just glide smoothly; I think something's stuck in it." She sniffed, shrugging again. "I'm not exactly an expert on them, but when I was a kid we had one. Mom said it probably wouldn't work when I picked it up, though. False hope." She smiled tightly; Hatter inwardly recoiled. He hated that unhappy smile.

"I'll bet you'll figure it out, love." He reached out and carded his hand through her hair as she leaned into his touch.

"But not this moment." He stood, pushing the chair back in. "It's nearly 11:00."

"Pshh… I had an off-day from work today, I'm _fine_-"

"Yeah, you may not have work, but you must've hauled me to every night club in town this week trying to get me to like _music_." He grinned, while Alice grimaced. Music was the reason she had the record player in front of her. "Time to turn in; you can always work on it tomorrow, yeah?"

Alice sighed.

"I'm not taking-" Hatter imitated her sigh- "for an answer here."

"Shut up." She half-heartedly swatted his arm, fighting back a smile as he laughed.

"Really, love. Tomorrow. I'll even give you your space, 'kay?"

Alice sneezed. "Can you make me some tea, too?" she mumbled; Hatter beamed.

"Of course- and bless you." He kissed her forehead as she stood, realizing she wouldn't even have noticed she was tired without him- and she wouldn't have complied without his tea in the morning.

"Go on ahead, Alice. I'm off to wash the smell of coffee out of my hair before I go to bed." He smiled, stroking her hair once more and giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek before she padded down to the bedroom. He turned to look at the record player, tilting his head slightly like a confused dog before shrugging and heading for the shower.

His curiosity wasn't fully doused, though. In his pajama pants and a cotton white t-shirt, he made his way back to the kitchen, quietly shifting a chair around to sit in it backwards and stare at the strange contraption. He reached his hand out and poked the needle holder; what he was hoping for, he wasn't quite sure, but nothing happened anyways.

"Hmm." He shrugged and got up again, sleep more enticing than staring at something he didn't really understand (though if he couldn't sleep right away, he might just stare at Alice, which was similar- but much prettier). Without further ado, he turned off the lights and crawled into bed beside Alice, easily drifting off.


End file.
